Poker Night - by Tiexie

Many thanks to the Medievian Gods who allowed me to use their pets/mobs in this little story!

"You're a stinking cheater!" the gravely voice ground out from the shadows.  Long, bony fingers wrap around the deadly looking scythe in the creatures hand as he tosses several cards onto the table. The swirling black cape writhes about in agitation as he cracks his neck and leans back in the chair.

"Must you always be so ... vile?"  Rocky rolled over the sinister-looking mans toes and smiled in rockish delight as Death yelped in pain. "Why ... I'll SHOW you pain, you ... you ... ROCK!"

A loud cackle came from the occupant of the chair across the table. "What are you laughing at you senile old bag?" Death growled, baring the hideous gaping maw that was his mouth and what was left of his teeth. The cackling penguin flapped its wings and cackled again.

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"  The wooly white creature sitting beside the sanity-stealing penguin answered.

"Oh, whats the use. You're all a bunch of morons anyway. Why do I even bother playing cards with you pack of cheaters!" Death muttered under his breath.

From the corner, the friendly little tortoise who had been quietly waxing his shell, cleared his throat. "Perhaps you come here because you have nowhere else to be on a Saturday night.." Samyal let the sentence dangle, as if goading the scary-looking necromancer. Which was of course entirely impossible, since the little green creature was known to be one of the friendliest in all the realm.

"Chitter!" Came the response from above.

"Oh, DO pipe down Mank, who asked you anyway!" Death growled as he eyed the imp scaling the chandelier above their heads. "And, get down from there. Why can't you ever be still?"

"CHITTER!" Came the response, as Mank scampered from across the beams of the ceiling. He plopped down beside the baby ogre sitting on the floor, and pinched his nose between two fingers. "Chitter.."

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The wooly white sheep brayed in protest at the smell wafting from Holger's obviously dirty diaper.

"Okay. I am not changing that. I don't even have opposable thumbs." A soft tender voice filled the room, and everyone turned to stare at Stormy. The shimmering unicorn was intent on the cards that he seemed to be holding just fine, without thumbs.  No one said anything however, as loud crash and a bang broke off the argument.

"Oh gee. Thanks Lunknit, I *was* gonna eat that."  Death groused from his chair as he glared at the big goat chewing chunks of party mix he had spilled onto the floor.

The goat ignored him and continued to pick out the chunks of baenlyr jerky from mess in front of him, chewing slowly and steadily as goats will do.

"Are we going to play cards tonight?" Stormy shook his mane, and shimmering flecks of unicorn dust wafted about the room.

Death choked as one of the beautiful drops of confetti fell on his sleeve, and he shook it off as if someone had spilled acid upon him. "Do you mind?" Rocky rolled back to his place at the table, and began to conspicuously rifle through the stack of papers at Death's elbow. He tossed papers over onto the floor in careless abandon as he searched for something of some interest.  "Will you *please*?" Death slammed his fist down on the table, and the big rock rolled over his foot again.  Death dropped his sycthe and yelped in anger and pain once again.

Lunkit slowly made his way back over to the table, and began to eat the bright blue and red poker chips in front of him.  He payed no mind to the imp that had plopped himself down on his back. "Chitter." Mank chattered as he picked up the cards the peguin dealt.

"Baaa." The sheep replied in obvious distaste as he eyed his cards.  The fluffy creature wrinkled his cute pink nose, as Holger waddled past in his drooping diaper. Holger sat on the pogo stick leaning against the wall, and began to pick his nose. "Mama?" The pogo stick jerked in response, as if trying to wiggle away from the foul smelling little beast.

"I call." Death's heavy lidded eyes narrowed as he glared at the sheep across the table. The downy creature grinned in triumphant as he laid his cards on the table, revealing the full house with a grand flourish.  The necromancer howled in outrage as he slammed his single pair of 3's on to the table, causing Mank to scamper into the shadows.

"I will not abide this cheating I tell you!" Death roared, brandishing the deadly-looking weapon over his head.

"Oh, do calm down old man. It's not worth getting this upset over." Samyal smiled and slowly laid his cards on the table in plodding tortoise-like fashion.

A soft moan of agony interrupts the exchange and they all turn to stare at the poor pogo stick, who was at the moment trying desperately to escape the baby ogre's grasp. A unified "ewww" filled the room as Holger dug in his nose and wiped the slimy contents onto the shining magical bouncing toy." Okay, seriously, who is supposed to be watching the little guy ." Death mumbled something under his breathe in response to Stormy's question and picked up his sycthe.

"I gotta.. uh I uh I gotta go do important... umm necromancer death-like .. stuff. Yah, stuff." He stammered as he headed for the door.

"Hey, wait... you coming next week?" The  penguin shouted after him, twitching in his chair. "Marious is coming next week mate!" He shouted as an after thought, staring at the empty air of the open door.

"Gee, he sure was in a hurry." Stormy offered, nonchalantly gathering the poker chips into a pile. "Baaaa," The sheep agreed, as he settled down for a nap.

Lunkit released a loud burp and headed for the door, waving a hoof as he did so. "Full as a tick," he muttered as he passed by a stick of baenlyr jerky on the floor, as he considered wether or not to have one last munch.

"Mama?" Holger wailed from the corner, pounding his ugly little fists on the floor. The pogo stick took the opportunity to escape and bounced out the door feverishly. The tortoise seemed to have fallen asleep at the table, his dulcet little snores barely audible.

"Mama?" Holger wailed again and peered at Mank with a blank stare.

"CHITTER!" Mank exclaimed before scampering out the door behind the goat.

Stormy looked about in confusion, noticing that the penguin had also disappeared. The beautiful unicorn shook his mane in frustration, eyeing the ogre with obvious distaste as the little guy once again filled the air with his noxious gas.

"Uhg. They did it to me again..."