Poker Night - by Tiexie
Many thanks to the Medievian Gods who allowed me to use their pets/mobs in this little story!
"You're a stinking cheater!" the gravely voice ground out from the
shadows. Long, bony fingers wrap around the deadly looking scythe
in the creatures hand as he tosses several cards onto the table. The
swirling black cape writhes about in agitation as he cracks his neck
and leans back in the chair.
"Must you always be so ... vile?" Rocky rolled over the
sinister-looking mans toes and smiled in rockish delight as Death
yelped in pain. "Why ... I'll SHOW you pain, you ... you ... ROCK!"
A loud cackle came from the occupant of the chair across the table.
"What are you laughing at you senile old bag?" Death growled, baring
the hideous gaping maw that was his mouth and what was left of his
teeth. The cackling penguin flapped its wings and cackled again.
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The wooly white creature sitting beside the sanity-stealing penguin answered.
"Oh, whats the use. You're all a bunch of morons anyway. Why do I even
bother playing cards with you pack of cheaters!" Death muttered under
From the corner, the friendly little tortoise who had been quietly
waxing his shell, cleared his throat. "Perhaps you come here because
you have nowhere else to be on a Saturday night.." Samyal let the
sentence dangle, as if goading the scary-looking necromancer. Which was
of course entirely impossible, since the little green creature was
known to be one of the friendliest in all the realm.
"Chitter!" Came the response from above.
"Oh, DO pipe down Mank, who asked you anyway!" Death growled as he eyed
the imp scaling the chandelier above their heads. "And, get down from
there. Why can't you ever be still?"
"CHITTER!" Came the response, as Mank scampered from across the beams
of the ceiling. He plopped down beside the baby ogre sitting on the
floor, and pinched his nose between two fingers. "Chitter.."
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The wooly white sheep brayed in protest at the smell wafting from Holger's obviously dirty diaper.
"Okay. I am not changing that. I don't even have opposable thumbs." A
soft tender voice filled the room, and everyone turned to stare at
Stormy. The shimmering unicorn was intent on the cards that he seemed
to be holding just fine, without thumbs. No one said anything
however, as loud crash and a bang broke off the argument.
"Oh gee. Thanks Lunknit, I *was* gonna eat that." Death groused
from his chair as he glared at the big goat chewing chunks of party mix
he had spilled onto the floor.
The goat ignored him and continued to pick out the chunks of baenlyr
jerky from mess in front of him, chewing slowly and steadily as goats
"Are we going to play cards tonight?" Stormy shook his mane, and shimmering flecks of unicorn dust wafted about the room.
Death choked as one of the beautiful drops of confetti fell on his
sleeve, and he shook it off as if someone had spilled acid upon him.
"Do you mind?" Rocky rolled back to his place at the table, and began
to conspicuously rifle through the stack of papers at Death's elbow. He
tossed papers over onto the floor in careless abandon as he searched
for something of some interest. "Will you *please*?" Death
slammed his fist down on the table, and the big rock rolled over his
foot again. Death dropped his sycthe and yelped in anger and pain
Lunkit slowly made his way back over to the table, and began to eat the
bright blue and red poker chips in front of him. He payed no mind
to the imp that had plopped himself down on his back. "Chitter." Mank
chattered as he picked up the cards the peguin dealt.
"Baaa." The sheep replied in obvious distaste as he eyed his
cards. The fluffy creature wrinkled his cute pink nose, as Holger
waddled past in his drooping diaper. Holger sat on the pogo stick
leaning against the wall, and began to pick his nose. "Mama?" The pogo
stick jerked in response, as if trying to wiggle away from the foul
smelling little beast.
"I call." Death's heavy lidded eyes narrowed as he glared at the sheep
across the table. The downy creature grinned in triumphant as he laid
his cards on the table, revealing the full house with a grand
flourish. The necromancer howled in outrage as he slammed his
single pair of 3's on to the table, causing Mank to scamper into the
"I will not abide this cheating I tell you!" Death roared, brandishing the deadly-looking weapon over his head.
"Oh, do calm down old man. It's not worth getting this upset over."
Samyal smiled and slowly laid his cards on the table in plodding
A soft moan of agony interrupts the exchange and they all turn to stare
at the poor pogo stick, who was at the moment trying desperately to
escape the baby ogre's grasp. A unified "ewww" filled the room as
Holger dug in his nose and wiped the slimy contents onto the shining
magical bouncing toy." Okay, seriously, who is supposed to be watching
the little guy ." Death mumbled something under his breathe in response
to Stormy's question and picked up his sycthe.
"I gotta.. uh I uh I gotta go do important... umm necromancer
death-like .. stuff. Yah, stuff." He stammered as he headed for the
"Hey, wait... you coming next week?" The penguin shouted after
him, twitching in his chair. "Marious is coming next week mate!" He
shouted as an after thought, staring at the empty air of the open door.
"Gee, he sure was in a hurry." Stormy offered, nonchalantly gathering
the poker chips into a pile. "Baaaa," The sheep agreed, as he settled
down for a nap.
Lunkit released a loud burp and headed for the door, waving a hoof as
he did so. "Full as a tick," he muttered as he passed by a stick of
baenlyr jerky on the floor, as he considered wether or not to have one
"Mama?" Holger wailed from the corner, pounding his ugly little fists
on the floor. The pogo stick took the opportunity to escape and bounced
out the door feverishly. The tortoise seemed to have fallen asleep at
the table, his dulcet little snores barely audible.
"Mama?" Holger wailed again and peered at Mank with a blank stare.
"CHITTER!" Mank exclaimed before scampering out the door behind the goat.
Stormy looked about in confusion, noticing that the penguin had also
disappeared. The beautiful unicorn shook his mane in frustration,
eyeing the ogre with obvious distaste as the little guy once again
filled the air with his noxious gas.
"Uhg. They did it to me again..."