April 14, 2009

Be vewy, vewy quiet
by Loreis

There is an autoquest so terrifying, so insanely difficult that to even whisper the objective strikes fear in the bravest of hearts. Hunting wombats. You see, the wilderness of Medievia is a rough and windswept place, filled with nightmarish creatures and weather that changes so quickly, you cannot keep up. Wombat hunting takes precision, stamina and, most of all, patience. Oh, and a sense of humor!

I was wandering Castle Medievia, looking for elemental stones, when Neverborn, a member of Clan 50 asked where to find wombats. Oh no, I thought, not this. I asked him why he was seeking this foul creature, and he said.

"Autoquest."

Taking a moment, I realized I could be of some assistance. Neverborn is a single class thief, with scanning power aplenty, but not the elusive Wizard Eye that I hold so dear. I telepathed him, and told him to check outside Medievia City, and I would call a dragon, and begin to search nearby zones. A massive bronze dragon landed loudly next to me, and grunted.

"What."

"Wow, perky much?"

Have you ever been licked by a dragon? It's awful. It's wet and slimy and smells like rotting meat and feet. Ugh. The dragon giggled (so unattractive).

"I'm helping Neverborn find wombats, so could we please leave the rage behind, and begin?", I queried, sarcastically.

I leapt onto the back of the dragon, and whispered several locations is his ear (I hope that was his ear, if not, I think we're engaged). First, Riverton. Casting sense presence, I found no wombats. Hmm. Ok, on to Crystal Lake! We flew quickly, and upon landing, I cast again, and this time a shimmering haze formed in my mind, and I saw a wombat. Grabbing my Crystalline Eye of Foresight and plunking it onto my head, I began to systematically look for tiny yellow dots. Wow. Lots of tiny yellow dots. I telepathed Neverborn.

"I found some at Crystal Lake. May I try and summon you?"

"Sure!" replied Neverborn in my head.

Nope too far. He had to fly. Once Neverborn arrived, it was a simple task to summon him to a wombat, making sure he was surrounded by sanctuary and watch as wombat after poor wombat fell to his throwing knives. So sad, really. Eventually, we ran out of wombats, and it was time to search again. As my previous dragon had left, after rudely dropping a huge pile of dragon poop right next to the road, I was forced to call another. This time, golden wings shining in the moonlight flashed through the skies, and gently came to rest near my feet. This dragon smiled, and I could not help but notice a piece of cloth stuck between his two front teeth.

"Soooo", I mused, "Who'd you eat?"

The golden beast batted his eyes innocently, as Neverborn just stared at the piece of cloth.

"All that matters, is I'm too full to eat either of YOU!"

Gulping, Neverborn wandered a few paces west, and I laughed.

"It's not nice to scare new players", I gently admonished.

The dragon's head dropped slightly.

"I know..."

I clambered up, and off we flew to E'nat. Aha! Wombats everywhere! And ettercaps, gnolls, trolls, beetles and some sort of hideous rat. Telepathing Neverborn, I watched the skies until he came into view. Let the summoning begin! Using my Eye, I ran through the wilderness, and each time I found a poor, unsuspecting wombat, I would summon Neverborn, and he would slay it most bloodily. Suddenly, Neverborn yelped, "Only three left!"

I practically cried-I hate the outdoors. I am more of a Catacombs kind of girl; the wilderness is too....well....wild for me.

We found three more wombats, and they died quickly, with little screams and twitches. I gave Neverborn two green orbs and a blue one, just to make up for all the summoning, and we flew back to Medievia City, he all the richer, and me dripping with dragon spit. I think Neverborn got the better bargain!

Loreis-out