October 12, 2008

Don't Hurt Me, I'm Naked
by Loreis

Lunavina. The very name brings to mind a gentle wind, blowing across a starlit sky. How misleading. Our fair Goddess has equipped herself with a mighty weapon: a lightsabre of such power, such ferocity, that to even whisper it's damage brings a quivering to one's knees. Alas, this fair being is constantly attacked by foolish Medievians, obviously bent on their own demise. One such citizen? Onatic.

It was a lovely day. Ships were back in the seas, and Captain Pode had cast the elusive Double Experience Spell! As Rocky hid throughout the city of Medievia, Lunavina rested elegantly in Medievia Square. Lerris had just popped into the Square, resting after a fierce turn-around the Esacha Fen. Onatic was muttering under his breath, and Lunavina was smiling her beautific smile. Lerris basked in the glow of the starlit goddess, when Onatic asked Lunavina to at least give him the illusion of doing well. Lerris's ears perked up-this might be interesting! Oh, and it was.

As Onatic began to assault Lunavina again, she tactfully ignored each and every spell, every bash. As Onatic's corpse fell upon the ground, our starlit goddess smiled oh so gently, and stated,

"It's only 123d123"...

Lunavina's lightsabre could kill you while she slept. While you slept. While the world slept. At this point, Lerris assumed it was over. Onatic stood, resurrected, and stripped to his skivvies. He then looked at Lunavina, and said, in a confident tone,

"Don't hurt me. I'm naked."

Lunavina giggled, and Onatic dropped dead. Whining, yet brave (an odd combination), Onatic struggled to his feet. Lerris waited, holding her breath.

Rocky shouts, "No one was able to find me! I'll hide in another spot!"

Lerris jumped up, waiting for Rocky's hiding place, hoping to find him and a prize. When last she saw Onatic, he was re-dressing himself, and glaring at Lunavina's lightsabre. Perhaps he has learned, perhaps not. What this reporter has noticed of late are a fair number of attempts to slay our lovely Goddesses! When will these Heroes learn - a lioness is lovely to behold, right before she chews through your neck...