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December 13, 2008

Making Rock Toad Stew
by Bberke

"Look alive look alive," shouted Uribam at the top of his telepathic lungs. The ground was saturated with blood tinted rain from the shores of the blood sea, but not a drop of rain fell and the only sound was that of a rock toad's croak. Silently they approached, the sorcerer's of Mayhem glided towards the Shadow Knights scrolls and wands of power tucked under their arm, sinister smirks on their lips.

Crouched among the rock toads Bberke stroked his lightning rod, wondering if he would ever get a chance to use it, his mind had drifted to almost an hour earlier when he had stumbled into the Dark Woods.

~~~~~Wavy flash back effects~~~~~

His fellow shadow knights urged him to collect live rock toads claiming Uribam would use them to make his infamous rock toad stew.

After less than a minute of failed attempts at catching rock toads, while wearing blue chromatic gauntlets, without any success Bberke noticed a sharp pain in his back. With a deep frown placed upon his face he rubbed at his back, only to have one of his fingers sliced clean off as Saresan placed his long dagger into Bberke for a second time.

With reflexes rivaled only by a drunken trellorian hobo Bberke attempted to alert his clan, however, his telepathic powers were drowned out by the song stuck in his head. So, when he signaled to his clannies they heard in their heads a mix of, "help I've been stabbed" and Valkesorcio's Aimonsorcio song, which made it difficult to discern if Bberke was actually being stabbed or was just being annoying.

Realizing he might die Bberke managed to recite the incantation to partially heal his finger and his back while he struggled to clear his mind of the music. Twice more Saresan stabbed as Bberke gasped out incantations in between choking on his own blood.

Before Saresan could position himself for a fourth attempt at silencing Bberke's heart, which happened to be beating to the tune of Valkesorcio's guitar, the legendary Legions of Shadow Knights descended upon him. Tripping and bashing the ballsy thief they sought to put him in his place, dead on the ground having his clothing and magical equipment ripped away. Several missed trips and a bout of attention deficit later Saresan managed to teleport to safety.

~~~~~Wavy flash back effects~~~~~

"Look alive," Uribam continued to scream over and over via his telepathic link, finally shattering Bberke's woolgathering as those of Mayhem began to aim shockwave, recite scrolls, and point wands upon the Shadow Knights.

Meanwhile Grustlin was still attempting to pull up pants, he had been caught, well you know, contributing to the flora of the woods, when those of Mayhem had arrived.

"Kaziel!!! Activate the orb!!!," cried Koraxis as he raised a lightning rod into the air along with several of his comrades.

Kaziel stood safely outside the forest on the banks of the Blood Sea vigilantly awaiting the proper moment to use his fae orb to create a rain storm over Dark Woods. Focusing his mind he raised a fae orb towards the sky. Bright arcs of lightning sizzled around the fae orb as it shook and hummed causing absolutely nothing to happen. Irate, Kaziel told the orb it was an idiot, the orb shocked by its bearer's rude demeanor pouted in silence.

Mayhem, always an efficient killing squad, owned the day like a Woolly Mammoth. Less effective without a rain storm to amplify the lightning of their rods, the Shadow Knights sent wave after wave of mediocre lightning bolts at those of Mayhem, all except for Bberke that is. He was still busy recounting sheep and simultaneously confused by the dry weather. Thus, it was no surprise Grustlin quickly burst into magically delicious pieces causing the Shadow Knights to scatter as they realized their plan was bunk.

The Knight's leaders attempted to salvage the situation with little luck. Uribam attempted to resurrect or teleport Grustlin, but found everywhere he stepped an outstretched leg sought to send him tumbling. Koraxis and Uribam advised the remaining Knights that the battle was over, they had lost.

Bberke sighed, licking his lip and wondering if he would ever get to taste Uribam's infamous rock toad stew.


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