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June 20, 2024
Whether you are a new cleric or a mighty hero, you will die in Medievia. Death, as they say, is part of living. And there are many ways to perish in this wondrous game. Some of those ways are dumber than others. Moments of sheer stupidity on your part can lead to watching the Necromancer merrily dance around your corpse. Examples of this include forgetting to set your “wimpy”-the minimum health require for you to flee a battle screaming and bloody, or attempting to flee while a cave weed wraps itself around your ankles. Then there are the terrifying ways to die in Medievia. Hellraider comes to mind, as does the Dark Strider. And of course, CPK or chaotic player kill. Venturing into CPK gives me anxiety in real life. I have died in both incredibly stupid and terrifying ways. And in case you are feeling like you’re alone in amassing more deaths than completed explores, please allow me to share with you some of the ways I’ve died over the past twenty years of playing Medievia. When I created my first character, I chose warrior because I had no idea what I was doing. Warrior sounded tough and cool. Rawr, baby. As a warrior with absolutely no clue, I thought I was invincible. So I walked up to a Medievian guard and kicked him. Within seconds I was lying in a crumpled heap, bleeding out of many orifices, dead. To this day, new players die to Medievian guards. I get it. I’ve done it. And I learned my lesson. You can do anything to level, but you don’t do that. One of my favorite experiences with death involved two of my best friends and Raskin’s Valley. Three heroes, armed and equipped to the max, walkthrough learned, ready to rescue the boy, free the girl, and slay the mad scientist. And if it hadn’t been for the toxic gas and the fact that Raskin is actually psychotic with the strength of twenty Dwayne The Rock Johnsons, we totally would have done it. Instead we died together in a pile. I think Rhonda was decapitated. There was so much blood. Rhonda and I also visited Stornaway Castle at very low levels. I seem to recall she was a level twenty cleric, and I may have been a warrior somewhere in the teens. We didn’t make it past the courtyard filled with dinosaurs. Yes, my angels, there is a castle guarded by dinosaurs. I have also died stupidly. Remember the wimpy? A few days ago I realized my wimpy was set at zero. Sadly, I realized this after I kept slamming my head against a wall in the Catacombs while being clawed by a fire wolf. My wimpy never kicked in. I had also forgotten to shield room, so while I was typing “flee” over and over again, a sludge mephit slunk in, stabbed me between the shoulder blades, watched me drop to the ground, and slunk away. Set your wimpy. Just type “wimpy You can also purchase teleport potions. These potions are your best friend. In the middle of a battle gone horribly wrong, you can quaff a teleport potion and BAM, you’re in the wilderness. Just make sure you have one in your inventory so you’re not typing “locate menthol” while being murdered. Death comes to us all in Medievia. It comes in horrible ways, and it comes in stupid ways. From the level five warrior who kicked a guard to a hero with great stats who forgot to set their wimpy, we all die. The good news is we are reborn a finger-eating zombie who has to find an altar while falling down a lot. Medievia makes dying fun. Unless you’re CPKed and watch with tears streaming down your face as three heroes take all your clan items. That’s not fun. That hurts. Love, Loreis. All Rights Reserved. For more information contact: Webmistress: Soleil |
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