January 21, 2012

A Not So Charming Visit to the Catacombs
by Loreis

The maze in Goland's Tower is a favorite site for the Catacombs. The entrance is usually hidden within the hedge maze, and you wander a bit before locating the dark hole into the cavernous world of eggs and fire wolves and the Metamorph. This morning, Marious chose the maze, and off I flew.

Having recently returned from a hiatus, I no longer had some of my combing equipment, so I have been stealing roots from hermits. Luckily, they're blind, so nine times out of ten, I get away with it. When I don't, I simply flee, return and try again, with success. Hermits are tough, but again, blind. And possibly not too bright, since one would think if I tried the FIRST time, I'd try again. But I don't complain.

I climbed down into the darkness, landing on a cave weed. Looking closely, I saw this weed was the proud owner of thirteen eggs. I shielded the room, and cast charm. It didn't work, and a battle began. The weed fell, and I scooped the eggs out of the still warm corpse. Eh, I thought, it'll get better. No, it wouldn't.

Another cave weed, another failed charm. Come on, I yelled! Five dead cave weeds later, I began to question my ability to be charming. Obviously, there are moments where it fails, but to fail consistently was frustrating. I stormed through tunnels of ore, muttering to myself. Suddenly, I stumbled into a lichen. Finally, I thought, these I can charm. Nope. Cast charm lichen, lichen looks befuddled for a moment then attacks. I groaned; this was getting ridiculous.

I rarely charm eels successfully. They have high health, and resist my charms. Today, however, they succumbed to my wiles quickly, and dropped thirty plus eggs total. What the hell, I wondered aloud? Lichens were the simplest things to charm, yet I failed. Cave weeds were usually no trouble at all, yet I failed. Eels hardly ever gave in-they would shake their little eel heads to get rid of the momentary fog then BAM, kick me in the ribs. With what, I don't know, since eels really don't have appendages, but I've been hit with an axe thrown by a fish, so I don't question anything anymore.

I also think it is incredibly unfair that cave weeds love my shoes, but only if they are in a room with two permanently fire shielded wolves and a sludge mephit. They wrap those slimy tentacles around my ankles, and refuse to let me go. Which almost always results in me being stabbed between the shoulders by a sludge mephit or leapt upon by a fire wolf. I've been slaughtered by four chimeras thanks to a cave weed. Twits. I wish there was a "Don't touch me there" spell.

When I realized that this was just not my day, I cast gate, deposited about 500 eggs, and ported to our home. I was the proud owner of a green sanctuary orb, seven more roots and slimy boots. As much as I love the Catacombs, and I do love them, my love hate relationship with cave weeds is becoming more of an unbridled hatred and a lot less love. Tripping, slimy creatures who refuse to be charmed, and taunt me with eggs and a distant memory of becoming docile and following me wherever I went. Those days seem to be over, and now I will simply attack them before they can attack me. Unless they happen to be in a room with two fire wolves and a sludge mephit; then I'll just back up slowly and look for another route. Say, through Alaska.

Loreis-out.