August 24, 2000
"Another tale, you say!" I laugh
As newbies gather near.
Despite my last great failed attempt,
They still all wish to hear.
I'm stronger now, if not more wise,
But my own I can hold.
"I'll help you out, and tell you how
I tried to make some gold!"
Despite the warnings of my clan,
I chose to have some fun
Attempting on my very own
To make a trading run.
To New Genesia I flew,
On copper dragonback.
And there decided that I'd buy
Equipment for my pack.
While in the town I searched for shops
Who'd sell a staff or scroll,
A large gelatinous cube arrived
And killed and ate me whole.
My clan's res offer I denied,
An altar was nearby.
But as I prayed and headed out,
A mage caused me to die.
Again I asked the Mighty Gods
To pity my poor ghost.
I grabbed my gear and fled in fear
Back to the Trading Post.
I left from New Genesia,
My wagon filled with goods,
And set off for the distant Ranger's
Cabin in the woods.
Before my wagonload and I
Had travelled very far,
I came across a horrid snake,
The dreaded Banelar!
I fought as bravely as I could,
And to my huge surprise
The banelar was killed quite quick!
To think, I'd feared these guys!
I headed on with lifted heart,
"That battle was quite droll..."
Not watching where I walked, I smacked
Into a waiting troll.
That fight was worse, but with some greens
I prevailed in the end...
And instantly was mangled by
The club of his large friend.
Well, soon there was a mob of them,
Twelve trolls had gathered 'round
To laugh at my pathetic corpse
That twitched upon the ground.
When live again I wandered back
To find my stolen cart;
A larger group had traveled past
And made some troll-corpse art.
I saw a gnoll, and to myself,
Remarked "I'll kill this dolt!"
But as I charged I was struck by
A "random" lightning bolt.
"That's it!" I cried, deciding I'd
Give up on this failed quest.
I headed back towards the town,
To give myself a rest.
In no time I was back, it seemed
In quitting I was deft.
The town was oddly close, but then...
In truth I'd never left.