Medievia Mudslinger

August 20th, 2002

I want a dragon crystal! - By Zasrgui

Whom it may concern, please listen
As I write of what I'm missing,
Let my words, these sad drops, glisten,
Falling on receptive head,
I just want a dragon crystal,
I won't beat about the thistle,
I won't fume or seethe or bristle,
But most up with I am fed -
If I had crystal of dragon,
No more pillaging of wagon
To the sound of kobolds bragging
Then would I e'er suffer from
But my pracs made so stupendous
Weary forms would plead 'pray, mend us'
Clans would cry out 'pray, defend us'
Then down from the skies I'd come,
Than a lightning bolt, obtuser,
Than a thunderstorm, profuser,
On my trusty Appaloosa
I would crash about the scene
With 18 my prime requisite,
My behind, the mobs would kiss it,
When the clerics' guild I'd visit
And '[superb]' would flood the screen.

But for now despair I'm living,
As I rummage through my griffin
And discover that I'm missing
All my leveling eq,
As our mana score depletes as
Fast as lumberjacks eat pizzas,
And the kobold still defeats us,
Not a single spell goes through,
Please comply with this epistle
And give me a dragon crystal,
I am chewing on the gristle
Of a life beyond the pale,
As encroaching mid-life panic
Makes me use the social "flanic",
As my portalling goes manic,
And my hunk of cheese goes stale,
As I ail with rigor mortis
And bewail how life so short is,
This gazette my last resort is,
It can cost you nary a sou,
It can take you not a second;
Aid the plea to which you're beckoned!
Am I not, when counts are reckoned,
More deserving than a grue?
Who completely unsuspecting,
But invisible detecting,
Finds D. C. its dust collecting
In some rotting corpse or cask?
And if he who pulls my stringy
Is incorrigibly stingy
And will not pay dollars, think ye
That is my fault, may I ask?
So give me a dragon crystal,
And to your tune I will whistle,
And your lips I'll surely kissle
Neath the Medievian mistle-
toe, and with a magic pestle
You I fondly will caress till
I invite you to my castle
And I feed you with a pastille.
Give me a dragon crystal!

How about two?


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