You know.. by Ratimmiptwax

December 12, 1999

You know that a zone is too hard for you when. . .

you accidentally flee through a hidden wall and find yourself stuck in an antimagic, fire room.
you find yourself fighting level 1 mobs that seem that have infinite hp and permafireshield.
you lose link for 15 seconds and you reconnect to find yourself dead.
after wandering around a bunch of "harmless, nonaggressive mobs", a cute robin decides to make you into sushi.
you've been fighting the same mob for 30 mins and none of you have done any damage to each other. (You know, that Idatron is one tough mob).
you walk into the first room of CPK, get tripped down and you never get up again.
you flee from an undead corpse and die before you realize you fled.
the instant you lead a form into a zone, you get spammed with a screenful that ends with: [CLAN] (clannie) is DEAD!!!! (x9).
you cast shield room and either get killed or get looted/blinded/slept/ ported to med

You know you're addicted to Medievia when. . .

you have a huge deadline tomorrow, and you just shrug and say, "Oh well, I have to get off the hell level."
you call someone on the phone, only to say "I'll tell you on Med."
you suffer a nervous breakdown when Medievia has a big crash and is down for more than a day.
you find that events which take place in Medievia are more important than those in your real life.
you rearrange plans in your real life so that you will have more time to play med.
you become irritable when denied your daily 6 hours of med.
you hook yourself up to an IV drip, just so you can play Med straight for a month

You know you've died a horrible death when. . .

you backstab someone's fireshield and end up mortaling yourself.
you're running from a mob next to the bloodstone portal, you type "c shield room" right when you wimpy into the portal.
you laugh at someone who got a head turn when they attempted to backstab you, and they kill you with a critical hit.
reciting a book of exalted deeds on someone, you accidentally hit return after typing "recite book" and end up killing yourself with your mighty level 65 spell of harm.
you get CPKed in Dark Woods, and you get spammed offline when you type "inven"
you get smited and ressed repeatedly from making a god really angry.
you get struck by lightning while fighting a janitor and die.
running a trade run from Lyr to Trellor, you get hit by asteroids and dogs rip up your freight one room from the Trade Post.

You know you shouldn't be a clan leader when. . .

you're the leader of a two person clan you and your storage character.
you think that the entire world of Med owes you something for being the first person to join all the clans in Med, even the Testing Clans.
you have this urge to play removeclan roulette.

You know you're the oldest newbie ever, when . . .

you remember when Med looked like the globe in Kat's Office (Top floor of GodHalls), but still haven't figured out how to call a dragon.
you refuse to multi till you land that double backstab against a mob. . . as a cleric.
you're mudmarried to half the newbies in Medievia.
you count exp till next level in terms of Janitors.
you've found all the secret rooms in Medlink, yet still don't have enough time to multi.

You know that it's been too long since you cleaned out your inventory when. . .

you're afraid of looking at your inventory in fear of getting dropped from Med.
you carry around one of those old stone fountains that weigh 200 stones, because you think that, one day, you will need all the drinks it holds.
you think you have a DC lost in your inventory somewhere between the 12 th and 15th page.
the number of stones you're carrying has rolled over.
you're a cleric and you have 40 throwing axes in your inventory.
you have this mad urge to collect one of each item in med.
the last time someone tried to loot you in CPK, they spent your entire death time reading your inventory.
when you find a Dragon Crystal, you start screaming at your clannies to get over and get it for you.

You know you've been playing Med too much when. . .

you refuse to hang out with more than 8 friends at once because it violates formation rules.
the number of hours you have played has rolled over.
you have the urge to kill every Janitor you see in real life.
one of your pets dies, you pull out your trusty heartstone.
you actually go ACK TTTTHHHHHPPPPPPTTTTTTT in real life
you name one of your pets as Cuddles, Scruff, or Rocky.

You know that Medievia is becoming reality when . . .

you get canned at school and say "wince"
you get into a fight in real life, you scream "cast shockwave" and wait for them to burst into pieces.
you have this sudden urge to lick all your friends.
you start daydreaming and then actually perform your antivoid script.
you fall asleep while waiting for your girl/boyfriend, and say "Sorry I lost link for a sec."
you run into a locked door that has always been open and you mutter " stupid repops."
you say "wave" to someone when they wave at you.
you begin to thinking what you'll do tomorrow on Med... 5 minutes after you get off.

And Finally, Newbies are better than heros because . . .