Medievia Mudslinger

December 30, 2000

An Interview with some of the Residents of Trellor - By Mhordamis

Part One - An Interview with the Trellor gate guards:

Mhordamis: I understand Trellor has become one of the least interesting places to visit since --

Trellor gate guards: Have you noticed the flock of tourists we've been getting this month?

Mhordamis: Yes, I have. If you'd let me finish.... However, although Trellor struggles in tourist attraction, would you --

Trellor gate guards: Have you noticed the flock of tourists we've been getting this month?

Mhordamis: Again, with the interrupting. Please, sirs, let me finish. Now, would you agree that although tourist appeal is at a minimum for the City of Trellor, the City's income has remained steady due to trade?

Trellor gate guards: Yeah, there's a lot of trading going on this time of the year. I saw a bard come in through here the other day.

Mhordamis: Er, who cares about the bar --

Trellor gate guard to Trellor gate guard: Really? We got to go see him. I bet ya he's playing over at Heron's.

Mhordamis: Sirs...

Trellor gate guard to Trellor gate guard: What would Heron need him for? Heron just hired three or four minstrels recently, and they're filling up his tavern with drunkards of the worst kind.

Mhordamis: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE COMMANDER BRINGING IN STORMWATCH?

Trellor gate guards: Why the hell did he send for the Stormwatch? I can handle anything that comes through this gate.



Part two - An Interview with a few Trell followers in the Temple of Trell.

Mhordamis: Hello, and thank you for welcoming me to your temple. I understand all those who are cleansed of any impurities are welcome into a house of Trell the White, and, baby, I'm all sorts of pure.

Priestess: Hello, and welcome to our temple. All who are cleansed of any impurities are welcome into a house of Trell the White.

Mhordamis: Uhm... yeah. I know. I tend on hitting the choir show upstairs in a little bit. Do you want to come...?

Priestess: While you are here, I must insist that you see the priestesses and the choir perform their song that praises the Goddess of Light.

Mhordamis: ...and after the show, I'll probably take a walk in the tranquil gardens. I want you to come, if you want.... Maybe we could talk... hold hands...?

Priestess: The tranquil gardens you can find to the east and west on the first level of the temple.

Mhordamis: WELL FINE. OH, JUST BE LIKE THAT.



Part Three - An Interview with the Choir

Mhordamis: Hey, guys, AMAZING show. Great voices. I'm the guy who threw the rose up on stage, in case you were wondering.

Priest: O, Trell the White we worship her, the darkness is her fight.

Mhordamis: Er, yeah. I know. I'm close friends with her.

Priest: O, Trell the White the evil dies, at her pure touch of light.

Mhordamis: Well, okay.



Part Four - An Interview with Bonk (the bodyguard of Heron's Tavern), Heron, Eldrick, Ozymandias and Soleil.

Mhordamis: So what's up, B?

Bonk: Watching the tavern, wielding a club.

Mhordamis: True, true.

(Heron appears from the doorway)
Heron: WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUP!

Bonk: WASSSSSSSSSSSSUP!

Heron: Yo, who's that?

Mhordamis: Yo, unblock your tells!

Heron: Hello?

Eldrick: WASSSSSSSSSSSUP!

Heron: WASSSSSSSSSUP!

Bonk: WASSSSSSSSSUP!

Eldrick: Yo, where's pookie?

Mhordamis: Yo pookie!

(appearing with an ear-splitting bang)
Ozymandias: Yo.

Eldrick: WASSSSSSSSSUP!

Bonk: WASSSSSSSUP!

Ozymandias: WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUP!

Eldrick: AHHHHHH...

Bonk: AHHHHHHHH...

Ozymandias: Hold on.

(appearing with an ear-splitting bang)
Soleil: Hello?

Ozymandias: WASSSSSSSUPPPPPP!

Mhordamis: AHHHHHHH...

Ozymandias: AHHHHHHH...

Soleil: AHHHHHHH...

Eldrick: AHHHHHHHHH....

Mhordamis: So what's up, B?

Bonk: Watching the tavern, wielding a club.

Mhordamis: True, true.



Part five - An Interview with a runaway winged Ioio from E'urdin Zilartzen, who was getting tanked in Heron's Tavern.

Mhordamis: WASSSSSSSUP!

a winged Ioio: ZMJXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXUK!
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