October 20, 2000
Here's a tale of a trade run in which I did die,
And our failure at trading made all of us cry,
That is, Silinar, Marechal, Undarl and I.
It's a sad tale of trading, through Dark Woods one day.
Adventure and danger burned bright in our hearts,
We loaded our wagons and off we did start,
On a treacherous trek through the least pretty parts
Of Medievia, trading through Dark Woods that day.
'Twas a confident look in our eyes, full of greed,
As each of us shouted and mounted our steeds,
"We'll be richer than kings," I roared, taking the lead,
"When we've finished our trading through Dark Woods today."
The trip there was riddled with bug swarms and gnolls,
But an endless bombardment of Kobolds and Trolls
Put some dragonlair maps in our portable holes,
As we travelled to trade through the Dark Woods that day.
When we finally stopped at the gates of White Rose,
We were covered in wounds from our heads to our toes,
And Undarl kept whining of his runny nose,
(It had rained, while we traded to Dark Woods, all day.)
We were nervously plodding our course through the trees,
Our horror was evident in our wobbling knees,
And I said a quick prayer to the Gods, "Please, please, PLEASE,
Keep us safe as we trade through the Dark Woods today."
When I cast a quick farsight spell, all that it showed,
Was a lone hidden figure, "Oh, just a rock toad!"
I told my companions, "Now let's hit the road!"
And we crashed blindly into the Dark Woods that day.
Had I not been so careless and hasty a fool,
I'd have heeded the most vital cpk rule,
Avoiding being bashed and bathed in a pool
Of fool's blood, in the depths of the Dark Woods that day.
My "rock toad", who normally sits in a haze,
As wise, naked traders slip past his dull gaze,
Was this time, the cunning and devious Krais,
And his friends, who were lurking in Dark Woods that day.
My companions were quick, and they fled to safe places.
I stumbled, and fell face-first into the maces,
And slipped back-first onto the daggers. The faces
Of killers watched, grinning in Dark Woods that day.
They started methodically taking my things,
My soul watched from above, on invisible wings,
"No! Not that!" I cried out, "Not my Fire Diamond Rings!"
They were taken away in the Dark Woods that day.
So here I sit naked and broke and ashamed,
Two fire diamonds lighter, bruised from being maimed,
And worst of all, my great ambition's been tamed.
It was taken from me in the Dark Woods that day.
So, if from my tale of regretful dismay,
You would like to take something with you, in the way
Of a moral or lesson it's this: STAY AWAY
From the dangers of trading in Dark Woods, OK?