Medievia Mudslinger

December 29, 2004

Medievian Bloopers

More and more people have fallen prey to the whims of fate. Oh dear.

Conor ran into a problem that too many of us have experienced...

Whilst combing one fine evening, killing Mephits just on general principle because they annoy me, I collect quite a few daggers in my inventory. Now, just two days prior to this adventure, I had bought myself a shiny new Dagger of Fire on Auction. My usual modus operandi was to switch melee weapons after the initial backstab, then switch back when necessary. Well, collecting eggs and such, I finally ran out of room and strength to carry more eggs, so I started dumping inventory to make some room. Knowing I had mephit daggers just collecting dust, I type in "drop dagger;sac dagger" and repeat.

You can guess the rest.

Before you say it, yes I did completely forget to NDROP my shiny new Dagger of Fire. I learned the lesson the expensive and hard way.

The editor has been where Ravir was, and done the same. Here's the tale from Ravir's fingers...

I was roaming around the catacombs, searching for some exp as I had just turned level 25, high enough to kill centipedes without fleeing. As I was fighting a centipede, I noticed my health getting low, but I was also playing another game (not a mud) and wasnt paying full attention. However I had just iced some parts of the centipede and got my kickback so I fled and cast mana shield, then went back in and attacked the remaining segments. To my misfortune, I was impatient and didnt heal after the mana shield, because I figured that the centepede would be dead before my mana ran out. I didnt account for the fact that mana shields dont block stalactites falling on my head. the last thing I saw was the following:

You dodge a bloody, mangled centipede's attack.
A bloody, mangled centipede massacres(15-20) you!
Your mana shield flares emerald, and deflects the attack.
You are becoming weak and disoriented from your many wounds(8-9)!
Your pound maims(31-40) a bloody, mangled centipede!
Your pound devastates(26-30) a bloody, mangled centipede!
Your pound devastates(26-30) a bloody, mangled centipede!
a bloody, mangled centipede winces in pain. (62%-68%)
A bloody, mangled centipede decimates(21-25) you!
Your mana shield flares emerald, and deflects the attack.
You are becoming weak and disoriented from your many wounds(8-9)!

<107hp 629m 390mv 100br> c ac

You hear a *CRACK* from above and watch as a stalactite breaks free.
You feel a sharp pain as the massive stone penetrates your armor and into your chest.
You have been KILLED!

[BL] Ravir has BEEN KILLED!

Petros had a bad day of it.

I had just gotten my silver medal for weekly AQ points, and I was needing AQ points again for my level. So I decided to go ahead and collect a bunch of autoquest scrolls and do them all at once. No problem right? I fly over to Alendora and I'm killing mob after mob, elf after elf, collecting AQ scrolls like mad. I've got eleven aq scrolls and I sat down to tick a second.

When I decided to stand nothing happens. So I think to myself "uh oh...I must be lagging. I hope I don't die" Lo and behold...Connection Lost. I said to myself uh've gotta be kidding me...So a couple of minutes later the server is back online. ALL RIGHT! Lets go ahead and do those autoquests. So I look in my inventory and no scrolls, then I look in my bag. Also no scrolls, Lastly I look in my jar, and yet no scrolls. I'd lost them all at reset. I screamed obscenities at my computer but decided to start collecting again, since I was bound to find more and I'd only spent a couple hours looking.

After another hour and a half of looking for scrolls I had about seven or eight, I pulled the first one out and read it, alright no problem! Easy AQ finished it in fifteen minutes. Next one bit harder. I'm almost to the mob I have to talk to when I start lagging again...Or did I? CRASH. Needless to say, I gave up on mass AQ's that day.

Uil found problems with death he's only just beginning to divulge...

Pleen's bloodline consists of sub-mediocre inhabitants of Medievia, but nevertheless its members have gathered a vast knowledge of the world. This knowledge culminates in Uil, the youngest bloodline member. Uil knows the layout of the zones he visits and when he dies (a rather common event) he knows how to find the nearest altar and walks towards it.

One day, after an unworthy death in Ruellia, Uil ended up in the Icy Cavern. The Ice Serpent shoved him back at every move he made. He tried all directions, even those that clearly went nowhere, but he was not able to leave the place.

Uil considered his options. He could wait for zone replenishment, but he was not sure that this would move him to another place. He also was aware of the possibilities of the pagan 'Who Minus Zed' spell. On the other hand, Uil was convinced that this had to be a malfunction of the zone. So he prayed...

The God Calrog appeared and demanded an explanation. Stuttering, Uil explained the problem. Calrog thundered: "Try to quaff a vial!" Blushing heavily, Uil remembered that his grandfather once told him about the three vials you receive when you die. He tried to make excuses, but the God was obviously not amused. Uil felt fortunate to be dead already, or he would certainly have been punished into that state.

Until this day, Uil never told the story to his father...

Ascerat has had more than his fair share of misfortunes...

When I was a level nineteen single-class mage, I ventured alone in the Warrens of Moshata, where after a few encounters with a wizard, I found my self in need of revival:(, so I walked to the nearest temple where I was revived. After that I felt like I was better prepared for the warrens, so I entered again, and I was killed, again:(. After being revived a second time I knew this place wasn't for me so I left the temple where I was killed by an ogre in the next room outside:(. This happened twice with the same ogre:( :( (Payback is not really my forte) Now, revived again, trying to escape the ogre, I teleported out of the temple and was instantly killed by an elemental wizard:(. Frustrated, (alive again!) I left the temple and imediately called a dragon. When I reached the City of Medievia I was strucked by lightning and killed instantly:(. Atleast I got a medal for the last one ;p.

Swiftmoon developed a new phobia...

I was about to do my very first AQ from a scroll, but as I read it, instead of saying yes, I pressed enter. Now being new, I figured I stuffed it up and was feeling father glum. Half an hour later, someone teaches me a new command called 'aq' and the I realised that the quest had been continuing all that time. Not only that, once I called a dragon to take me to my destination, I was killed on the spot by a mutated ant. By the time I prayed and got to the destination in one piece, I recieved a message saying I had failed the aq. I had learnt two new things that day: 1. Pay more attention to aqs. 2. Run from all possible ants.

Volacio is going to pay more attention in future...

Well, Eriathan and I had just ran Crime Underground. He said I could loot, and I picked up a bag of holding. About twenty minutes later, I forgot I had it in my inventory. I typed "put all bag" with my tick mode eq - crimson rings and so forth - in my inventory. About five minutes later, completely unaware of what I had done, I donated the bag of holding. I left for a while. At nine pm that night, while running Yldari, I tried going into tick mode. Some of that gear had cost me a pretty penny.

Aelana found out who her formies were the hard way...

Ensvey and I had just had the good fortune of popping a max wristband at Asnor. We decided to go ahead and run the entire zone after that with just the two of us, so we began charming mobs. Overzealous, I decided to auction the wristband immediately. Sure enough, it fetched the hefty price of around 14 mil. Pleased as anything, I typed "split 14000000", which the code faithfully did...not only among the two of us, but also among the seven other mobs I'd charmed. As if that wasn't bad enough, a sly pker who had just arrived at the zone cast hands of wind on me, scattering my newly wealthy formies. We ran around in a panic trying to locate the mobs that had our cash, a task that was made even more difficult by Mr. Pker Man. I'm pretty sure we got all of our money back in the end, but that experience took a few years off my life, to be sure.

More bloopers in the next issue. Want to see your name up in 'print'? Email your embarrassing stories to excrucior at medievia dot com.


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