Medievia Mudslinger

April 22, 2001

Rallac writing as Doctor Alfred

Doctor Alfred's Views on PK'ing (The first of Many Rhymes)

Zeath the Thief in garb most sartorial,
Headed to Riverton for a PK spectorial,
Willy the Warrior went along for the fun,
PK'ing is easier with two than with one,
They got some supplies, called a dragon for wings,
Got halfway there, but forgot all their things,
They got backstabbed, with a horrible cry,
Without their supplies, they would surely die!
They got some directions from friends that they knew,
And bought some potions, staffs, and lots of orbs too!
Calling another dragon, with hate in their hearts,
They lit up player corpses, and other body parts,
They hacked and they slashed, with no known discretion,
And finally realized they'd lost their direction,
They were lost in the mines, couldn't find their way out,
And about that same time, Roke ripped their hearts out,
May this be a lesson, for all that you know,
Never PK unless you know where to go.

Doctor Alfred's View on Newbie Medievian Experience

We'll take Christoph the Cleric, and Mushka the Mage,
Appearing in Medievia, with level one gauge,
After seeing the city, information books talking,
They decided it best to begin with some walking,
Finding a janitor, so sickly and thin,
Christoph and Mushka decided to ice him,
Raising their hands and with joy in their hearts,
They used some mana and tore him to parts,
And even more angry, hate for janitors burning,
They continued onward east, with bloodlust and yearning,
Standing around, offering items he doesn't own,
A wandering merchant makes his presence known,
"Have some gems! These are nice, yes!?',
They decided killing him would be for the best.
So raising their hands in anger once more,
They killed the poor fellow - he fell through a door!
Retrieving the corpse, and peeking with pride,
There were 200 coins hiding inside,
Split to each an even 100, and happier still,
They headed on east in search of a tougher kill,
Finding a path as they moved on in need,
They headed on north with murderous greed,
Releasing a gasp born only from fear,
They saw zombies and ghouls right west of here,
Anger overcoming hatred with ease,
Raising hands again, the zombie begged "Please!",
But they still died either way along with many others,
And sooner or later, the friends acted like brothers,
This is a lesson to newbies, (hey, maybe you),
That in this game you should make a friend or two.

Doctor Alfred's Views On Scruff

There are Medievian legends that everyone has known,
The most popular of which is of Scruff and his bone,
Just south of recall is his area to pop,
And when anyone sees him, of course, they stop,
And in Med City, he is loved and known,
Sooner or later you'll hear, "Got a bone?",
He speaks fondly of places people used to go,
Everyone but Scruff mourns the loss of Daddy-O,
He isn't normal like most dogs you've seen,
Red-striped sweater and beret, plus he's mean!
But if you're around and you need a friend,
Just remember, Scruff is right 'round the bend,
Always in the city, piddling in the street,
Scruff will be there when you relax your feet.


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