Medievia Mudslinger

March 23, 1999


You refer to your boss as V, even though his name is John.

Your car breaks down on the highway, and no matter how many times you plea for a dragon's aid, none arrive.

You sit in church wondering where the pictures of Baalzebul and Omawarisan are.

You can't seem to pick up the auction channel on your car radio.

You take a week off work to fix up your triggers.

The letters C, P and K strike fear in your heart, even when they are mentioned alone.

You come down with the flu and wonder why your heal triggers don't kick in.

Someone is described as a backstabbing liar in a movie you are watching, and you immediately say to yourself, "flee, c heal me, c heal me."

You skip over the New York Times' homepage, going straight to the Mudslinger page to keep up to date.

Your attempts at portalling to Trellor repeatedly end with you staggering out of the closet.

You set up a "cool" trigger which reacts to the message "You are hungry." Two weeks later you die from starvation.

You stare at people's eyes for hours on end, trying to determine if they make their smiley face with an = or an :

Search as you may, you can't find the trading post in your city.

You only watch subtitled TV shows as otherwise you can never follow what's happening.

You say the word clan before every sentence you speak.

Your workmate tells you a funny joke, and you shout out, "CLAN ROFL COLON CLOSE BRACKETS!"

You keep $500 handy in case you have to use the town channel to get out of a fix, and wonder why it doesn't disappear.

You go to a party and start to panic when none of the SOCIAL commands work.

In a conversation you'll say the word **grin**, while your facial expression remains the same.

The Medievia Picture Page closes (back up soon!) and you feel like you've lost your ability to see.

You wonder why Elvis didn't just find an altar and pray.

You're laughing at these jokes.

You get up in the middle of the night because you just thought of a cool article telling people that "THEY KNOW THEY'RE A MEDIEVIA ADDICT WHEN..."