February 27, 2000
One day I was sittin' out in a field near some rocks.
I opened up my purse and saw holes just like my socks.
Then I saw some wagons going off on that yonder road.
Heck, I'll do a trade run 'stead of letting my butt corrode.
So I set out on my first journey - I sold my one gold tooth.
I figured that I could cash it over at a trading booth.
At the trade store they gave me a crummy mule and a sack,
And said it wouldn't be long till I cracked my newbie back.
Going out east I crossed tons of fiesty obstacles.
I even went through caves with ten inch wide icicles.
But when I saw my final stop close within reach.
Some baddies popped out and shouted "Freeze!" with a screach.
Some Kobolds to my left and those Bandits to the rear.
Ogres to my right and a hurricane gettin' near.
Then I looked around and said "What else can I do?",
Stupidly, I shouted, "Let's fight, you Roodie Poo!"
The Kobolds bit huge chunks out of my arms and my chest,
And those Ogres decided to hack away the rest.
I was stabbed in the back by a couple o' thieves, no, make that three!
And that hurricane thrashed me up against the trunk of an oak tree.
I awoke with an ouch and guess what happened to my suprise,
All of my goods and my mule were stolen during my demise.
They laughed in my face as they packed up my stuff.
And with grins they said "Don't mess with us...we're tough!".
But in spite of it all I stole back a little pouch from my sack.
I took it onto the road, and went on to that ole' trading shack.
Oh, but to my suprise, ya know what they just said:
"What the!? This ain't worth the junky can on your head!"
I then went outside and strolled the rocky ground.
Once again I was bored...I just sulked around.
So after this I suppose there is a lesson to be learned:
If you are as weak as me, don't trade, 'less you want to get burned!